okay.. this feels so weird.. you know like how you're so used to doing something and then you stop for whatever reason.. but then you find it hard to go back to how it used to be? yeah,well.. i kinda feel like that now.. tsk. it's so me.. like if i like something,i'll be obsessed with it for like about a week and then i'll get nausea just thinking about it.. like how i used to love eating blueberry pie for a whole month and now i get sick just thinking about it.. and even songs.. haha! like there was this one time when i would only listen to old hindi songs, now they kinda make me feel all weird. i dunno.. maybe i should change.. but like how? i mean,it's not as easy as some people make it out to be. anyway,i've been feeling so crappy these few days. my nose resembles some sort of volcanic eruption site and i feel honestly horrible. ack! and then tmr is the freaking GP exam,. i dun care what it takes,i'm gonna do.. even if it means drinking that stupid Lemsip thingie tonight..
yeah i know i know.. it's been a long time since i wrote anything in here at all.. but still.. cut me some slack.. the computer at home was recuperating for an absurdly long time and it's still sputtering when it comes to life.. it's not a fair life but someone's got to live it..
oh i've missed you so much! i can't believe i'm actually saying this to some inanimate object but hey, i've been studying alot and i guess all my hardwork has paid off.. or in other words.. my transformation to a geek is complete .. oh well, things could be worse i guess.. wait, who am i kidding? i'm in the middle of my freaking Os.. Mmhm... yeah well.. whatever..
honestly.. this is disgusting.. China knowing about the Sanlu milk scandal four months before telling the public on one side and on the other, hungry children in the rural parts of the world not having even the basic necessities.. i mean, how selfish have we become to notice only our sufferings, our pain, our emo-ness and forget about the many millions who do not have a proper bed to sleep on? seriously, if you are whining about how your parents don't understand you, nobody loves you or why you're such a social disease.. you should honestly reconsider.. sure, you have problems.. who doesn't? i mean, come on even Paris Hilton has problems (i'll bet she doesn't know what a cosine rule is).. not to mention Abraham Lincoln (whose own wife was incessantly nagging at him all the time)..
i know i know.. i'm not supposed to be here.. but i was bored and tired and well.. i couldn't bear to look at my books a second longer.. so whatever..
Some surprises are good.. and some are just plain GREAT.. and guess what i'm feeling right now? Wait. don't guess.. i'll tell you.. I'm feeling like nothing could ever go wrong..nothing could ever rain on my parade.. it's love.. i tell you.. this upside-down feeling.. it's LOVE.. i just can't wait to see him again.. i've never seen anyone like him.. it's just so.. weird.. i never thought i'd ever feel this way about anyone.. EVER.. but wow.. he's just so incredible and amazing.. i'm going whatever i can to make this right.. i can't possibly think of a day without him..
i swear to God.. life has got surprises at every bend.. in every nook and cranny.. just about everywhere. some of them might be good.. some might even be GREAT.. cuz guess what? i just LOVE this surprise.. it was so amazing to look at him.. his hands.. his little heart beating so fast and so loud.. i think i might just be in love with him.. it's just so cool.. i never even thought that i'd ever see him like that.. it's just so.. i can't even begin to explain it.. it's so exciting.. i can't wait to see him again.. shoot.. i'm getting so ahead of myself.. i feel weird.. sheesh.. heh heh.. i really love this guy..
okay here we go..
5:55 AM.
" Friday, March 06, 2009
anyway, so i got my laptop on monday and i'll try to write as often as i can.. shoot, it's like making pledge or something..haha.. "And your honour, i'll make every effort possible to restrain myself against this man." Tsk.. anyway.. i can't think of anything to write now.. it's been far too long and alot of things happen in 'far too long"...
5:09 AM.
" Friday, October 31, 2008
you know the thing that really struck me about this whole year was my attitude towards my studies.. like at the start of the year, i was really hyped up and working really hard and then it just started to spiral downwards.. isn't that weird? like aren't you supposed to work upwards and then at the end be like a hamster on a wheel? i don't know.. i see all these people freaking out around me and i'm so cool ( read: listening to my iPod and moving my head like it's stuck on a skewer) and calm.. The ironic thing is that watching them freak makes me kinda freak but it so does not programme my brain or willpower to actually study..
Anyway.. I watched To Kill A Mockingbird yesterday.. it was nice in this weird black and white sorta way.. Wait.. Yupp it's me.. i'm weird.. i wake up early.. i sleep early.. i watch black and white movies and i know what a fish fork is.. Dang! i'm even weirder than i thought.. tsk tsk..but whatever, at least i don't cross the road holding my heart ( this kinda happened.. this kid i saw, he actually looked scared to cross the road.. for the record, it was like about 2m in length and trust me darlin this ain't Roadkill Day )
4:11 AM.
" Wednesday, October 01, 2008
So face it.. your problem might seem big to you but its not the only problem in the world.. do you really think slashing is going to help you? all it will and can do is ruin your pretty arms and never allow to wear a bikini again.. and considering the weather in Singapore.. you might as well be committing social suicide..
i don't know.. i think it's pretty stupid of people to drown in their own sorrows when they could actually rebound from them any time they want.. it's not like there's an actual person pushing you down is there? Even if there is, its surely up to us to make the difference and move on.. it's tough.,. but that's the stuff life is made of.. are you sure you want to remember your days as a depressed teenager? what the hell are you going to tell your kids? "So kids, listen hard and good.. Your dad was a freaking depressed kid.. your mom still has scars from her slashing days.. You have a lot to live up to . So get slashing." ??? Are you really going to say that?
5:28 AM.
" Saturday, September 27, 2008
you know.. it's really funny.. life.. i mean when you're least expecting something, it just pops out of the blue.. and when you really want something, more often than not, it's beyond your reach.. i suppose we should just not expect anymore.. weird huh?
anyway.. i'm gonna go someplace and relax now.. it's hard man.. studying for your Os!
4:08 AM.
" Wednesday, August 20, 2008
4:04 AM.
"
7:50 PM.
" Saturday, August 16, 2008
this life has got more surprises than an average man can handle, but that does that necessarily mean than we shy away from them and refuse to look them in the eye? Charles Darwin did that when his first book on evolution was printed.. in order to make as many people happy as he possibly could with an idea like that, he altered his book so many times that he ended up contradicting himself in more ways than one. Does our innate abilities cause us to shy away from circumstances we feel best suit someone who has got the innate ability to fight? Why do we do that? Why don't we speak up for what we believe in? And why do we always shun people who speak their minds?
The answer, though not so obvious lies within us. Most of us conform to society's usual norms that we may not really agree with but still accept since speaking out against that would mean social alienation.. But we forget that these stupid things don't last long.. As hard as it may be to believe, Truth prevails.. Fashion is really just a phase. And although this may be shocking .. primitive fish lungs were not used for the purpose of breathing underwater.. they were used mainly for buoancy.. to help the organism float up and down the water.. In short, things are not always as they seem. They just adapt.. And sometimes adaptation is not an innate ability..
